Miss you, and thank you, and finally

終於經過八年！由我們第一次接吻開始 感謝你！ 我知道你是一個不會表達自己內心感受的人，認為有什麼好說的呢，要是真好又不會張揚，不好只會將一切哽回肚子裡；所以「都係咁、冇乜嘢、ok啦」常掛嘴邊！因此我從不真正知道你的事及想法，像魔術師的帽子裡的兔子，困在內而不知要娛樂誰；但感謝你曾經分享你心深處的一角，讓我瞥見、讓我感受！ 2016年，值得記得的，還有2月29日，在這特別的日子，你約我晚飯！ 你對我的「愛」，定義在我心不停在變！不變的是，我依然懷念你的擁抱！ 眼淚同心痛有過幾多遍，決定離開一段不曾光明過的關係一點也不易！感謝神的帶領！ 2016要過去了！ 2016年也有著很多經歷！ 再次得著工作，阿公入院到離開，子豐復活飛，拉飛機，跌進攀爬上不去的谷底，呼吸困難，睡不著，吃不下；經歷過後，11月中開始得䆁放，脫變了！感受到不知有多少年冇再感受到的平靜、安穩！感謝神！🙏🏻 以賽亞書40:29-31 疲乏的，他賜能力；軟弱的，他加力量。 就是少年人也要疲乏困倦；強壯的也必全然跌倒。 但那等候耶和華的必重新得力。他們必如鷹展翅上騰；他們奔跑卻不困倦，行走卻不疲乏。

無可救藥, so let's hv a song~

無人之境
歌手：陳奕迅
作曲：Eric Kwok
填詞：黃偉文
編曲：Eric Kwok
讓理智在叫著冷靜冷靜
還恃住年少氣盛
讓我對著衝動背著宿命
渾忘自己的姓

沉睡的兇猛在甦醒
完全為你現形
這個世界最壞罪名
叫太易動情
但我喜歡這罪名

驚天動地 只可惜天地亦無情
不敢有風 不敢有聲
這愛情 無人証
飛天遁地 貪一刻的樂極忘形
好想說謊 不眨眼睛
這愛情 無人性

讓世界陷進大騙局裡面
朋友亦難以發現
共你隔著空在秘密通電
挑戰道德底線
如若早三五年相見
何來內心交戰
我信與你繼續亂纏
難再有發展
但我想跟你繼續亂纏

驚天動地 只可惜天地亦無情
不敢有風 不敢有聲
這愛情 無人証
飛天遁地 貪一刻的樂極忘形
好想說謊 不眨眼睛
似進入 無人境

即使間 整個約會情調
幽暗似地下城
還是算溫馨
多麼想 跟你散步橋上
把臂看著風景
但是我清醒
月亮 總不肯照亮 情慾深處
那道背影
你我像快快樂樂 同遊在異境
浪漫到一起惹絕症

不想說明 只想反應

wine and song

right now, i'm having sake which just taken from Japan last night, and listening the song (someone like you, by Adele). i heard it from Thailand this Oct.

this combination is moody, obviously
so that's why i'm typing.

i dunno why god paves my way like this. all the times it's boring and excited, exciting and bored.
high and low loop.
i do wanna give up but sth back, i do wanna chase sth but i can't reach.
tired.
then the moment would change to be another stressful excitement! i hv nth to say...

ordinary living is what i pursue actually, but why things looping like that? i wonder.
isn't it the 'self' inside controlled by myself? or the rebellion inside me is truly the domain so that's why i work in this industry?

another road is paved for me by somebody else again! that's another good chance to hv another way to work, to learn and to earn.
i dunno if i should thank my fd or god while i'm busy to everything.
'Lucky' can be the word to describe my career, i admit.
meanwhile,
'Unlucky' describes my love story(s)

i want your hug definitely.
but want your sincere hug, which hv you ever had?!
i hv changed a lot since the 6th, or since i hv met you.

thank god paves the way for me with roses
and thanks that the roses have thorns

frankly i'm not satisfied with my living, i do thank god and keep praying.
i hvn't changed ever, yelling but keeping the faith
god, please protect me wherever, whenever, whatever! Amen

The Fifth + 2nd

心痛的感覺都沒有了, 是否就可以好起來?
我在努力, 非誠勿擾!
End all daily morning & good night from now on!
And, goodbye!

I won't entertain u anytime!!!!!

Eat shit la u!!

checkpoint !

5d1n
其實我已經不懂得要寫什麼, 甚至我已不懂得自己
來到這一刻, 神你可否讓我將這一切完結, 就此停下來, 忘記過去,重新開始

review
或許這都不是我進步了, 而是事情根本已經離開了
退一步海闊天空, 沒有說明是自願或不自願的!
感謝神賜我智慧卻沒有埋沒我的情感, 好叫我知道兩者於現實中的落差

junk food

我真的很喜歡跟你在一起

The bell rings

It's time to move forward and step back

amazing grace. 軟弱全然使我堅壯

感謝神, 要不是你, 我不能夠, 做不來, 撐不了!
一天大失敗, 一天大順暢, 換來很多支持及鼓勵再換來讚賞, 將一切頌讚榮耀歸於天父!
求父因此加添我對你的信心!!等待主的安排及帶領!
阿門

shanghai Romance

已學會快樂時快樂,let go時沒關係!
今天的確是有點悶, 但舊夢是不須記~~~

情人不會忘記

作詞：黃偉文
作曲：Eric Kwok

萬一了失了憶
就請你來提示我
分手那一幕　事發經過
有否哭過　跌得慘痛麼？
萬一不記得
亦跟你熊熊熱戀過
請你講講那陣子貪我甚麼？

＃最恨最親愛全忘記
我亦決不要遺忘你
生命並沒甚麼可以記（苦難受盡亦得不到你）
若過去沒有喜歡過你（未怨過在最初識錯你）
要是我真正沉迷過
我如何可能遺忘你
用一生去受怕擔驚（或者真相動魄驚心）
都要喜歡你（都要想起你）

暗裡著迷

很久沒有blog
不是沒意思去紀錄, 肚子裡千言萬語,
因為忙, 因為怕, 因為心情各樣那樣
就好像這一刻, 徹底的弄翻了, 我還是想好好的舒緩一下

首先, 一切是自找來的麻煩, 這種內心扎難遠比想像的難受
好, 我接受當發生了就是發生了, looking forward dun look back, ok, i try!
thank god that give me strength to face it and overcome and move forward. take the blame, take it and learn a lesson!!!!

但人成長了, 要舒緩卻害羞了, 不好直接, 憑歌寄意

遊樂場
原唱：謝霆鋒
★ 作曲：謝霆鋒
★ 作詞：林夕

逐個字逐個字逐個認識　
糖是甜唇是紅誰是奇蹟
看懂了然後尋覓尋覓另一種價值
逐個夢逐副臉逐次累積　
抱起過放低了然後回憶
然後期期待期待期待下一位接力

你與我仍心跳　一切都不重要
你與我仍相信
如何不得了
煙火最後也會退燒

最繽紛的花園遊樂過 但求動心
就算是世間末日 撫心自問
都想秒秒驚心
最寬廣的公園遊樂過 為何認真
若我尚佔一席位　
都想入座觀賞這個驚險人生

做對事做錯事換個臉色　
對不起對得起留下評擊
看開了然後承受承受另一種壓力
會過面道過別直到熟悉　
看一眼吻一次留下痕跡
愛不夠然後存在存在另一種角力

笑中有淚
楊千嬅
作曲： 蔡德才
作詞： 于逸堯
編曲： 蔡德才

我　要多得自己　更加多謝你
你將我磨成利器　戀愛路有幸捱不死
競技場上當嬉戲　今天講來彷彿一世紀

早已　記不起自己　有否憎恨你
至少今天再站起　從前在快樂時以苦調味
在過山車裡上天落地　經歷就當福氣

＊當我無情無恨望過去　還是笑中有淚
　抓緊愛侶只靠寬容不靠淚水
　無奈要被你拋棄後　先瞭解我是誰
　如若那天我大多幾歲　＊

這一刻也許　還是一雙好愛侶

不錯　過得到自己　便可體諒你
也許都因我自卑　攜同著壓力陪你趕場地
渡過了春光再幻想明媚　當日是我逼你

什麼都去追　明白到無需因你會分手過慮
誰亦可以沒誰　離合全為了大家高興
到今天也許　還是一雙好愛侶

如果將來能得到和誰　其實多得這過去

但沒有一首比這個更為貼切, 又是我愛的林夕

唉聲嘆氣
sammi
床是我床　但你的汗
能令我這世界泛巨浪
沉默臉龐　像隔彼岸
明白你永遠拒絕　屬於這個地方

＊懷著厚望　定會失望
　其實這個說法我未忘
　情若太狂　叫你怯慌
　然後我要背起這罪狀

　連坐立亦會不安
　若然　讓慾念曝了光
　明日追憶都變得骯髒
　無謂勉強愛你去叨光

　不想唉聲嘆氣　陪你一起
　不想委屈了你　為我醫心理
　即使唉聲　嘆氣
　還要當趣味　再沒更卑微　＊

＃不想唉聲嘆氣　唯有心死
　不想委屈了我　成了張三李四
　不敢唉聲嘆氣
　還要故作客氣愉快講別離

但其實我要的是這個

Glow old with you
Adam Sandler

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
Oh, all I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh, It could be so nice to grow old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you. Give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you. Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh, I could be the man who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.


知道了, 明白了, 長大了, 學習控制了, 只是時間還是需是了
oh, i need a hug here

靈命日糧

懼怕憂慮試探信心，

焦躁心思前來攻擊；

記住上帝仍掌全局，

祂從不失手出差錯。

無須害怕，因上帝掌握全局。

2011-01-05

猶大的獅子

「不要哭！看哪，猶大支派中的獅子，大衛的根，他已得勝。」

（啟示錄5章5節）

在肯亞的馬賽馬拉國家動物保護區裡，慵懶的獅子看起來似乎不具威脅性。牠們在低矮的灌木叢間翻滾；在枝椏間摩擦臉頰，好像想要梳理美麗的鬃髮；牠們閒散地在溪邊喝水，漫步經過荒蕪的乾地，好像全世界的時間都是牠們的。只有在其中一隻獅子打了個呵欠時，我才看見牠們的牙齒。
不過，這副雍容閒雅的樣子是一種假象。牠們之所以這麼輕鬆是因為沒有什麼事值得懼怕擔憂，牠們不缺乏食物，也沒有天敵。這些獅子看起來懶散、無精打采，而牠們卻是萬獸之中最強壯、兇猛的野獸，只要一聲咆哮，所有的動物全都飛也似的奔竄逃命。
有時候，我們似乎覺得上帝很慵懶，不見祂動工，我們就說祂什麼都不做。聽見別人嘲笑上帝，否認祂的存在，便急著想知道為何祂不為自己辯護。但是上帝「總不因他們的聲音驚惶，也不因他們的喧嘩縮伏」（以賽亞書31章4節）。沒有什麼事值得祂懼怕擔憂，只要一聲咆哮，貶斥祂的人就會沒命似的鼠竄飛奔。
假如你百思不解：為什麼上帝不像你一樣擔心焦急？須知此乃是因為祂掌管萬有，祂知道耶穌──猶大的獅子，必定得勝。

Arabic . 千年 . 一嘆 . 序

明天出發了, 心跟思想都空蕩蕩
毫無感覺
不知道是否個幾月前的project and半個月前的project讓我知道咩叫做緊張到死的感覺
直到這回, 看似要出力了, 我卻不覺得怎麼樣, 因為跟本不至於緊張至死!!! 可是, 不至於輕鬆得這個樣子啊, 做點什麼準備吧, 但做什麼呢, 我在空蕩蕩的思想中盤旋, 然後繼續吃喝玩樂!!!!!!
再搞不清, 我是括得太開還是逃避得太過遠, 只知要喝要不理會時我是可以好徹底!!!!

RELAX!
大家回我最多的字詞!

有口難言
懶惰與relax, 只差一線
但這個trip我還可以懶惰也可以relax, 皆因已被live show嚇怕了><''

空蕩蕩的shopping, drinking, relaxing, evading....
正經事不做, 想來想去, 只一個人
這個人想了兩年
想到有點悶, 有點乏味~ 咁仲諗乜鬼, 我頂~
一個多月了, 那餘震一點也不強烈, 但, 確實仲係有d震震地!!!
我要出trip了, 各式各樣來自你的關懷與rubbish擾亂我的思緒
思想繫於你, 卻又被你影響我的思路, 同有雞先定蛋先一樣撲朔迷離!!!!

好, 廢up完, 要休息了, 其實這半年都沒有休息過~
早抖了, x:mas見 ~

to have but not to hold

我很喜歡喝酒, 喜歡到, 大概我不知道醉不知道什麼時候
喜歡這種感覺, 喜歡到每日都不能不喝
變成習慣, 習慣到身體不知不覺不太健康, 繼而不知不覺意識到這樣不好, 也不願拋低這個我會形容為醜陋的習慣, 也記不起是什麼時候開始越喝越兇

最近喜歡喝上了一枝sweet wine, i like it!
eagar to hv it
tasting it
after it
and u'll miss it!
it is so nice to hv it all, throughout the wine, throughout the process~ the mood is wonderful~ so nice and do really nice.
but i love to have this sweet wine alone! this is not the wine to share or during talking or bullshitting!

i had it tonite, during watching the movie 愛你愛到殺死你
this is the nite i was soooo happy, since i hv gotten out of a big job which i really wanna escape from it. thank god that using this solution to get me through, and out of it, and to the process i did work on!!!! after all, i tasted this sweet wine, soooo nice!!!!!

this movie flashed me back. i like it, as well as the theme song. (不得了, 原來又係林夕)
i remember everyone of you. everyone i loved and loved me. every scene upsetting, every scene i upset someone. do surprised to recognize that the song is always my song when i had been going through these. flashing back!!! and looking forward!!!

tonight, thx joey so much! i had a heartful smile all the times which haven't been wore on my face for a long long time!!!
thank god! i have to be thankful and be a good girl again!!!!

This is what it is

有你的日子多好! I mean, if under alcohol

RESTART

好想跟你旅遊, 無論只是空想X'mas能於London Eye下ice-skating定係上年真係o係巴黎鐵塔, 抑或係剛剛一齊飛, 都好想攬住你.
大概你不知道, 每次當你以為我陶醉在你的唇時, 其實我是被你的熊抱醉倒了!! 醉得澎湃, 醉得洶湧, 不顧一切!
大概我也不知道, 我被醉倒的是源自你, 還只是那種有靈無型的擁抱!

醉了, 迷糊了, 熱情帶動了, 我愛的, 是否真的愛了吧?!

是! 愛的! 又不到底! 接近迷戀! 其實跟你的自私沒兩樣!
清醒了不敢相信, 是真的, 發生了, 就有點像, 第一次約會一樣, 不知不覺的發生, 後知後覺的精彩!
這次倒不能用精彩來形容, 卻是跟那次約會一樣, 不知怎的發生了然後心情呯ling澎lan!
見面 又卻是 這樣 那麼 平靜! how come, 真係好想知中文係乜?

習慣了過於隨性, 然而這絕對是生平以來最任性的一次!

幸好, 一切還好, 真的還好! 升呢, 雪泥, 你聽過沒有?

填詞：林夕

滑雪要靠美好姿勢　憑自信擦過深處爛泥
然後雪崩了　是否不甘心跌低
沒法接受我的不濟　難道不需安慰
從前助我馳騁的雪橇　不如放低

何苦靠苦笑呈強　人需要哭要自量
承認這是我　讓我為我鼓掌

從來不怨命　唯一要認　哭到盡頭換來受傷的本領
　沉痛使我　完全了解我　愉快未有保證
　明明不冷靜　何必鎮定　給我自由在何時任性
　軟弱到要崩潰才能　重新堅強　強在我　自知不會必勝

泥污有飄雪埋藏　河水轉彎會泛浪
誰又老練到　連淚腺亦已枯乾

從來不怨命　只要認　哭到盡頭換來受傷的本領
憑這本領　泥濘裡再打拼　白雪幻滅更清醒
強裝冷靜　才不冷靜　給我自由在何時任性
軟弱到要崩潰才能　重新堅強　強在我　忠於我本性

ultimately

i was intentionly to drink with you and to be casual last nite
happy moment n nice talking, which disappeared long ago. i was touched by ur warm and supportive sweety hugs! just let the emotion go and enjoy the time, meanwhile i thought nth. nth means nth, i just kept drinking the happy wine with no worry, i mean NONE!
i was wing, but not drunk, definitely i can control it but i let it be. totally enjoy and things then go smoothly, without any embarrassment!!!
hey baby, u surprised me, oppositely! surprisingly it happens, and nth happens while it's happening!!! i doubted!!! how come!!! am i so shit in front of the shitty one?! or any other reasons it may be. i truly can't understand and millions of Why Oh Why!!!
the bubble bursts!!!! the fantasy gone!!!
afterall, it's kind of relief somehow!!! ridiculous!!!!
i know i was wrong, but seems like wrong thing turns me back to the right track!!!! unbelieveable!!! complicated and it is!!!!
how come i come to this?! okie okay, i admit that finally i turn to be the one u model which this is not the real me but the now me! i'm disappointed by myself, however the relief happening contradicts!!!
thanks to the another me in the world! u disclosed me the truth underneath, or sth i hid. and u mildly forced me to face my intention which i couldn't admit it for long, and u surprisingly understand me, to reach somewhere i don't know!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's oh so quiet
It's oh so still
You're all alone
And so peaceful until...

You fall in love
Zing boom
The sky up above
Zing boom
Is caving in
Wow bam
you've never been so nuts about a guy
You wanna laugh you wanna cry
You cross your heart and hope to die

Til it's over and then
Its nice and quiet
But soon again
Starts another big riot!!

You blow a fuse
Zing boom
the devil cuts loose
Zing boom
So what's the use
Wow bam
Of falling in love

Its oh so quiet
Its oh so still
You're all alone
And so peaceful until...

You ring the bell
Bim ban
You shout and you yell
Hi ho ho
You broke the spell
Gee, this is swell you almost have a fit
This guy is "gorge" and I got hit
There's no mistake this is it

Til it's over and then...
Its nice and quiet
But soon again
Starts another big riot!!

You blow a fuse
zing boom
The devil cuts loose
Zing boom
What's the use
Wow bam
Of falling in love

The sky caves in
The devil cuts loose
You blow blow blow blow blow your fuse
When You've fallen in love

Ssssshhhhhhhh.......
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this is the theme song of my blog actually frankly, am i that much into u? i dunno!

俾 墊 . 飛 汪

說過不要再提, 但, 也好, 不抖動. 一切還很平靜, 只是, 處理得, 不太好.

牽著手, 該是牽得最長的一次

往機場的計程車, 零晨五時

天還在黑, 我們靜默. 有點浪漫, 有一點moody
我沒有想太多, 只想眠一眠

除了, 遇到氣流時, 好想你就在身邊我可有手臂抓抓
其他的requests, 恕我無勇氣再繼續
baby, i'd like to hv a big hug instead of a touch of kiss

ICE, thanks a lot!!!

催眠 / 人間 / 香奈兒
我一路都喜歡wymen字與詞的型, 但係我真係鍾意林夕!

不過呢首唔係林夕, 但係好正

<傳奇>

只是因為在人群中多看了你一眼
再也沒能忘掉你的容顏
夢想著偶然能有一天再相見
從此我開始孤單地思念
想你時你在天邊
想你時你在眼前
想你時你在腦海
想你時你在心田
寧願相信我們前世有約
今生的愛情故事不會再改變
寧願用這一生等你發現
我一直在你身邊
從未走遠

只是因為在人群中多看了你一眼

i can't grow peaches on a cherry tree

16*10*10

幾個月來, 忙得瘋癲, 除了感受到身體虛脫以外, 還感受到不知哪裡來的智慧.
思想掙扎人性無奈誠實真誠, 忽然心水清,
明白不至於做得到, 但心水清的程度可以話好像看破紅塵!!!

苦中我能作樂, 以笑能抵擋, 以愛也能遮掩很多的罪, 多關懷, 世界更美好!
今早, 還很滿意活在當下中
忽爾, 一切又被打垮
有聲仿無聲. 瞬間, 即便漫長. 我在禱告, 求父帶領我經過什麼似的!
這一刻, 深宵, 我只想在這靜靜的一角, 嘆息, 憂傷

時間過, 萬物都在變.
雖則不再重傷入廠, 我今日只是拗柴而矣! 但拗柴都會痛, 都會想有人呵返~

*

I have tried to make you love me
I've done everything your way
And I'm crying for the words you'll never say
You think love is an illusion
That must end in sad conclusion
If that's what you feel that's just how it will be
And I can't grow peaches on a cherry tree

When I see the peaches blossom
I'll regret I said goodbye
I remember cherry kisses and I'll cry
But I can't go on pretending
That our love is never ending
For you can't be loved unless you want to be
And I can't grow peaches on a cherry tree

Someday I will find a new love
But for you there can be no love
For you can't be loved unless you want to be
And I can't grow peaches on a cherry tree

*
It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

*
I'm better off without you anyway
I thought it would be hard but I'm OK
I don't need you if you're gonna be that way
Because with me, it's all or nothing

I'm sick of this shit, don't deny
You're a waste of time
I'm sick of this shit, don't ask why

I hate you now
So go away from me
You're gone, so long
I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you
I found myself again
That's why you're gone
I can do better, I can do better

What'd you say
I told you so
You know that
Cause I always know
Get outta my face
Hey hey
You're not my taste
Hey hey
I am so
Sick of you
You're on my nerves
I want to puke
Get outta my face
Hey hey
You're not my taste
Hey hey
Hey hey
Hey hey

*

願以以上的歌作結

*